Have you ever noticed the little bumps and bruises you get as a mother? Some days I look down and it looks like someone hit me with a bat, then wiped jelly all over me. I am bruised, dirty, and it's gross. How the hell do I get bruised? Where did this stain come from? Is that poop? Well today I simply payed attention and learned....
How I got bruised and dirty today...
1. Hannah ran over my baby toe with her walker... it felt like a semi truck ripped my toe off.
2. I slammed my arm into the corner of a cabinet chasing my two year old who was running off with my soda.
3. My two year old stuck her hand into the jelly jar and rubbed it on my back while I was eating at the table. And I thought she was being sweet for a moment by rubbing my back...
4. Said two year old then stole her brothers orange juice and dumped it on our leather sofa. I know because I sat in it. That's what I get for not looking down before sitting down.
5. The baby loves to grab at things... she clawed my chest and just about drew blood. Then she pulled my hair.
6. My oldest spilled milk, I was lucky enough to be sitting next to her so my lap could catch most of it before it went on the floor. (you would have to be a mom to understand that is actually a good thing.)
7. I stepped on a giant Lego. It hurts more than the little Lego's because instead of being little and sharp, it is giant and sharp. The only time it hurts worse is when you step on the giant Lego at night. Because then not only does your foot hurt... you are tired as well.
Why do I even bother showering? Tomorrow morning I should just ram my leg into the table, pour my coffee on my clean white shirt and save my children the trouble. However, I would lose that surprise factor that make them giggle after something painful or messy happens... right? At least they are cute. Tomorrow I am wearing brown... and maybe shin guards...
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