Hoarders: Crazy Pregnant Lady Edition

What is it about being pregnant that makes you a hoarder? If you are pregnant with your first child, by the time you are six months along you will be classified as a complete hoarder. When I was pregnant with my first baby it was summer, aka garage sale season. I would go out just about every weekend and search for anything baby related and buy it. My neighborhood had a giant rummage sale and I had car loads of stuff. Car loads. Old toys, clothing, coats, shoes, onesies, furniture... the list goes on.

The best part about being a pregnant hoarder is the fact that NO ONE will talk you out of it. I don't care if you have had 10 kids and are a baby whisperer... I don't care if you are Michelle Duggar...

 

I NEED this wipe warmer. You know what?

I need TWO wipe warmers, one for upstairs and one for downstairs.

I don't care if you think it's not useful, I have to have it.

I know I already bought one, but these two match baby's room better.

So, whatever, if one breaks we will have a spare.

The baby HAS to have warm baby wipes.

 

In all honesty, I had this type of conversation about 20 times during my first pregnancy (and about 10-15 times in the last three pregnancies). There is just something about expecting a baby that makes you need it all. Then as if your obsessive shopping isn't enough, we insist on having a party to gather more shit for this baby. The BABY SHOWER.

 

 Once your pile ALL of your baby junk into the house and spend 2-3 months organizing it you may finally feel ready to have this baby. After ALL your rummage sale-ing, Craigslisting, collecting from friends, baby showering, you will actually utter these words...

 

"Okay, now one more trip to Target to just get everything else off my registry that I didn't get at my shower..."

 

and a week after that...

 

"Okay, another trip, just to make sure I have EVERYTHING."

 

How is it possible that we actually find it necessary to go to the store after all this? You know we all do it. The best part is, there are family and friends ALL around us just watching us hoard this ton-age of baby junk. They just sit and watch quietly. I think the best part of ALL this baby hoarding is the fact that at NO point does anyone try to stop us. Know why? Because over the last 9 months we have morphed into this crazy emotional pregnant person and if someone tries to take away my ability to buy one more pack of onesies...even though I have 15 packs already... I will cut a bitch. It is 100% that they think you are fucking crazy and it's easier for them to spend hundreds of dollars on shit you may, or may not use then deal with you. Period. That's why no one tries to stop you. Don't you wish life was like that ALL the time? Happy shopping mommies to be!