Sleeping...or lack thereof...

Having 4 children all under the age of five years old is so much fun... you know in that, "I don't remember the last time I slept more than 2 hours" kind of way. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mom and I love my children, but I truly hate motherhood past 10 pm. If you are on duty as a mom and it is past 10 pm, nothing good is coming out of it. You are dealing with nightmares, bed wetters, puke, you get the picture. NOTHING good happens past 10 pm if you are a mom. After the last few weeks with my kids, I swear it's like they are plotting against me.

 Last night, my four year old woke up after only being asleep for a couple hours with a bad dream. I calmed her down only to wake up the baby on the way down stairs... after a bottle I make my way down stairs. I started watching my favorite show (Game of Thrones... if you haven't seen it you should see it. But start at season one or you will be totally lost) anywho, as I was saying... I was watching my show and 10 minutes later our 2 year old meanders down the stairs for a cuddle. Adorable yes, but sometimes you want a break you know? Oy. So we cuddle and she falls back asleep so we march her back to bed. Finally after feeding the baby and soothing her back to sleep (because of course I wake her again on the way downstairs) I give up and we head to bed. Once in bed, the baby wakes up about 12, then 2, then 4:30 for a variety of reasons. Meanwhile my two year old, again, has snuck into bed next to me at some point before the 12 o'clock feeding. When I nudge my husband to scoot over, I realize he can't. Our three year old has snuck in next to him! So we are 4 bodies wide in a queen bed. Fantastic. Nothing screams neck cramp and a two-pot-of-coffee day like sleeping with your children.

Really though, when does it end? Don't get me wrong, not every night is like this. Usually it is just our 6 month old who wakes us at night. It seems like a chain reaction with our children. Like they are running some sort of parent torcher drill......

"Okay, Tucker- you're up next. Bella started us off and refused to go to bed until 10 pm tonight. Hannah will wake them up around midnight to keep their sleep broken. I recommend kicking dad in the ribs between 2am-4am. He hates that. The I will shove my hand in mom's face from 2am-4:30am...Hannah said she would cry and relieve me from my duties at 4:30am with a surprise poopy diaper and an extreme thirst for a fresh bottle that will require a trip down to the kitchen for Mom!"

On more than one occasion. there have been so many of my children in our bed that I have slept on the floor. Yes, I gave up my bed to them and slept on the ground just so I could close my eyes for another 30 minutes. My husband often sleeps in one of their beds when this happens. He has more ambition than me. I just barrel roll off the bed and use a dirty shirt as a blanket. I could sleep on a bed of nails if it meant peace for even 4 strait hours. On nights like this I can't help but think their conversation goes a little something like this...

"Good work guys! We got a full evacuation of the sleeping area. Exactly what we like to see during this type of sleep deprivation exercise. Just a reminder we are going to do a bed wetting drill next week. It is scheduled for the day after mom washes our sheets at 2:30 am. Now, I thought we would start the morning off with a fight over who was sitting the sofa first. Any volunteers?"

I fell asleep twice while typing this. Not even joking.

Down with the Nuk Fairy!

My two year old is very strong willed. She has her own way of doing things, and if she doesn't want to something... she won't. Period. Well, my little Autumn is a "Nuk Kid". She loves it. She constantly has her "nukkie" in her mouth sucking away. Now that she is two, I keep getting sideways glances from all the crunchy moms in town and have decided its time to wean her. Things are not going so well. I told her that the Nuk Fairy came and took her Nuk's to all the babies that need them. Now that she is a big girl, she doesn't need it. Let me just tell you, Autumn wants to kill that thieving bitch!

She has gone into full blown riot mode here. Hopefully after a week or so she will get over it and move one, but I do know one thing. That Nuk fairy better stay far away from our house and when it comes time, I fear for the tooth fairy. Autumn officially HATES fairies.

Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom?

Anyone with a toddlers knows that you will answer endless questions. Today has just started. It is 7:05 am. My 3 year old son, Tucker, has asked me if he can wear his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle tee shirt 18 times already. I counted, 18 times. My daughter asked if she can play outside when after breakfast, 8 times. My two year old asked me for a cuppy 6 times, after I got her a cuppy she begged me for her Nuk 9 times. Thank gosh the dog can't talk, he hasn't been outside yet and I can only imagine the questions I would get from him.

After meeting everyone's needs a new set of questions and needs arises... this is an endless cycle of questions. Over and over and over again. Eventually they all wear out from their question asking and fall asleep at 7pm. I usually stare blankly at the wall twitching from all the question answering.... until the ultimate question is asked. This question comes in two forms in my house... it is asked the SECOND I sit down and get relaxed after a long day. This question haunts me...

The final question of the day...

Mommmmmmmmmmy, can I have a glass of water???

in another form:

Mommmmmmmmmmy, can I go potty???

My response to these two questions is usually (mommy confession) a scary toned, angry yell that goes something like this...

"GET YOUR TUSH IN BED NOW!!!!????" (insert scary, mad mommy face)
Sweet dreams! I love you!

Ah, I would write more, but I have a Ninja Turtle shirt to find... (19 times)